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The Third Space

What it is and How to Use it

I read a book some time ago by Dr Adam Fraser called “The Third Space”.  It is about using life’s little transitions to find balance and happiness.

I highly recommend you get yourself a copy and have a read.  In todays very busy times third spacing is a great tool to working well and to having improved relationships at work and at home.

Here is a quote directly from the web page where this book can be bought:

This book is all about getting the small stuff right – not ‘sweating’ it, but making it much more rewarding, much more often. It’s about using the ‘Third Space’ (that moment of transition between a first activity and the second that follows it), to mentally ‘show up’ right for whatever comes next. Gaining control of the Third Space will empower you to do this any time and every time. You will consistently be your best for your work, your family, your friends and yourself – and you will find that the key to balance and happiness was always there waiting for you in the Third Space.

If you are an ex-military person like me you may be thinking that the book looks a little “touchy feely”.  It really isn’t.

I will leave the details of the process to the book and Adam Frazer but I would like to give you an example of where it helps me the most.

At the end of a busy day I had the tendency to come home wired from the work and going on all cylinders.  My wife and kids would be looking to talk to me about their days and I would be still thinking about work and what needed to be done.  Worse, if I had a bad day, I would come home with that baggage in a foul mood and make life miserable for everyone.  It got to the point where my own family was voiding me when I got home from work.

After reading the book I decide to institute a “Third Space” between leaving work and interacting with my family.  I have since tried a number of things; going to the gym, gardening (car to shed to garden) and even just a swim in the pool.  It actually didn’t matter so much what it is I did, just that I was taking a little time to recalibrate my thoughts and put the day behind me.

Life is better.

Needless to say, the book has much more detail and is useful in many other ways but this is a brief intro and explanation of the major way I used it.

Once again, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy of the book.


David Kirkby – General Manager OPEC College

[email protected]


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